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diary nigerian princess

The Diary Of A Nigerian Princess
While at work today, my phone vibrated...
It was Frederick...Fred.. As in that "Ex-boyfriend" Freddy... Freddy of four years ago!
Hay God!

He said he wanted to see me... I ran to my make up bag ASAP!! Naaaaaaa!!! I can't coman carry last in this encounter.. Oh yes... He has to see see me bubbling and bouncing in tha Lord!

I quickly erased the one I did 1hr ago before coming to the office and reapplied another one, my manager was looking at me with three left suspicious eyes, but abeggi I threw CARE away into the bush ...i cared less... He doesn't understand the goings-on right now.....

I dashed to the supermarket, bought a perfume, no I took it on loan, where I see 7,5000k to pay instantly, but however, I needed to smell fine for the hug naa. Oh yea! He has to know what he's been missing! Mtcheeeeeww! I rearranged my hair and applied extra red lip stick, looking at my Lips, you'd think it's red Kpomo.. Very sexy and chewable.... This one is to tease him....

One hour later........

Freddy finally landed.. He stepped outta his high lander jeep and gave me THE HUG.. I felt his hand going tighter around my waist, and his nose buried deep in my shoulder, from there to my neck... He was at this for 20 seconds then he raised his head and he looked at me and smiled...
I whispered to myself "Yay! my plan is weeeeerrrrkkkingg!"
'"you smell sexy and sophisticated" he complimented.
"yea yea... Don't I know that already ha-Ha" I smiled sheepishly.
"you'll never change Tosky " he continued, his countenance filled with longing, maybe regrets, maybe he wants to propose to me right now!!! Oh my goodness!! What if he proposes???
However, I continued..
"what do you want me to change to kwanu Haahha"
I laughed and laughed extra plus Jara, hit his chest and caressed it... He, in turn leaned in to me, caressed my face and traced the outline of my lips gently and mmmmmmm rented the air.

(Admit it Freddy, you wanna kiss me right now, you regret cheating on me and you've missed my awesome personality, say it baby.. Say you want me back, please? So I can play you like you played me, fucking admit it that you've missed me, darn it!!!!)
I silently begged him my mind.

" Ehen That reminds me, Tosky, I called because I want to ease myself. I was in the area and this dangerous stomach upset started and I remember you once told me where you office is located, so please do me this favor, I'm really pressed, may I use your convenience please"

I screamed in my mind:
"Jesus is Lord!!! Na shit this guy wan come shit o, he not only cheated on me then but now he wants to 'shit' in my office, dear ancestors, what have I done to deserve this?"
At this point, I could see my village people in my mind doing bwahahhhhahahahaahahhaha at me..

I jejely smiled and led him Upstairs... I was no longer in the mood to shake my bombom as I climbed upstairs biko... shake bombom bawo? for shity - shity Freddy??? Mtcheeeeeww!!!

I took him to the convenience and after using it, the water stopped flowing since then, as in the yellow slimy thing is still there in my convenience!

Umu nnem na Kristi I'm not crying,I'm only urinating through my eyes.

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